And We Found Bernadette on a Good Note

You know how they ask, "Where'd you go, Bernadette"?
Well, I guess we found her.
This is going to be a very long and obnoxious post. *SPOILER ALERT!*
It's been an extremely interesting ride, but I would never exchange it for anything. This story is mostly based around characterization rather than plot (which is fine by me), but still leaves for a quirky, satisfying ending.
Closure, as Bee would say.

Still, there is a lot to this part of the book that I am overwhelmed (positively!) by. Here comes my waterfall of favorite quotes, and ideas regarding them.

1. The nonchalance of the whole book
It's ridiculous how funny nonchalance can be, and Maria Semple embraces it perfectly. It sounds so innocent, yet has some very sarcastic undertones. Beautiful!

• "He'd return with a plate of food for me and a Xerox of the six-page NNew York Times Digest, which had big handwritten letters across the top, FRONT DESK COPY ONLY--DO NOT BRING TO ROOM" (Semple 278).
• "I felt a surge of annoyance at Manjula, who was supposed to have made sure I got called Bee, but then I remembered she was an Internet bandit" (283).
• "At the far end was a door marked DO NOT OPEN. I passed a wall of decaying books and pulled at the door" (285).



Same.

• "There was also a door marked DO NOT OPEN. I raced to that and yanked it open" (285).

She makes sarcasm so classy that even fellow sarcasm-masterminds applaud her. What's funny about this is its I-hit-my-head-on-a-wall-and-it-hurt-ness. It's so obviously incorrect or obvious, and she still comes out and says something that it obviously contradicts or is. Which makes this book hilarious. If any comedians need some lines that will make people (or at least me-- maybe I'm a humor anomaly) laugh, just say something like it's going to be a great story... then bring it back down to earth with the most obvious punch line:

GREG: I went sledding the other day and ran into a bush.

AUDIENCE: Oooh.

GREG: It was funny though, because my cousin did the exact same thing, and we had the exact same thoughts...

AUDIENCE: Oooh! Tell us more!

GREG: $*%&*#%^, that really hurt.

AUDIENCE: *cricket*

ME: BAHAHAHA that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

2. How relatable Bee and every single other character is

Perhaps it's easy for me to relate, as I play flute and I am a girl and I respond with sarcasm and I have major conflicting feelings all the time. But there's something more. For some reason, I feel like I know a Bee in my life, or an Elgin in my life, and even a Bernadette in my life. Maria Semple has created not characters, but people. And I adore this quality of the book.

• Bee: Often had conflicting feelings, but ultimately sees the better choice. Is devoted to friends and family, has no filter, and has strong emotions. Pretty unforgiving.
• Bernadette: Sporadic, no direction. Nothing can stop her, and the world is her oyster. Overall, a strange but lovable person.
• Elgin: Middle man. Tries so hard to be loved, and sometimes gets walked over. Super smart with computers, not so much socially. DOES NOT TAKE A HINT. Kindest person you'll ever meet.

3. The deepness of this book

Nothing to be said. Just make sure you're sitting down and aren't too sensitive. Read on.

• "Really, who wants to admit to her daughter that she was once considered the most promising architect in the country, but now devotes her celebrated genius to maligning the driver in front of for for having Idaho plates?" (316).
• "Another example of love is a hug" (208).
• "I was, like, Go Mom! Because here's the thing. No matter what people say about Mom now, she sure knew how to make life funny" (53).
• "Maybe that's what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place" (199).
• "People like you must create. If you don't create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society" (136).

Obviously, I want everyone in the world to read it. It's not any Pulitzer-winning book (Goldfinch, much?), but can give everyone insight on family, love, and you, yourself.

My birthday is coming up in January-- If anyone happens to have spare Antarctica tickets, Bernadette, or Bernadette merch, hit me up. I'll even shorten my posts for one of those things.